EDUC-6357-6 Diversity, Development, and Learning

This is our first blog for the new Walden Univ. masters ECE course. This course, EDUC-6357-6 Diversity, Development, and Learning has been a great eye opener for me thus far. Over the past few weeks I've really had to dig deep and learn to understand myself, who I am, how I feel and what I represent. This weeks assignment continues that pattern and ask some important questions in regards to gender, gender identity, and sexual orientation. We were asked the following questions.

• If you have ever used or heard homophobic terms such as "fag," “gay,” “homo,” "sissy," "tom boy," or “lesbo” as an insult by a child toward another child? Or, by an adult toward a child? Describe what occurred. How might these types of comments influence all children? (Note: if you have not had a personal experience ask a family member, friend, or colleague)

Unfortunately I have heard another child address another child as being a “fag”. I serve on the PTA board at my child’s elementary school and one day while walking the halls a young boy in 2^nd grade told his peer he was a “fag” because he wouldn’t share his snack. The recipient of the word looked puzzled unsure of what had been said and what it meant. The name caller explained, “it means you like boys!” The recipient still looking a bit puzzled yelled, “no I don’t! You do! Get away from me.” When I reflect on this situation it makes me wonder how this word was introduced to the first child and how the recipient will be affected. The recipient of the word had never heard the word and now he has learned a new word with a bad experience to go along with it.

• Any other related situations, thoughts, concerns, questions, and/or areas of discomfort you would like to share related to children, gender, and sexual orientation

I have a sibling who is gay. Our family has not embraced him and unfortunately many of them will not talk to him. Last year at a family event one of our uncles yelled across the room to a younger cousin “stay away from him (my sibling), he’s a fag and I don’t want you to catch it! Ha ha.” I couldn’t believe what I had just heard, and from someone who was in my family nonetheless. I feel that its people like this who are uneducated about the topic or just mean are the ones we have to worry about. They are the ones we need to teach students to be careful around. My cousin who was standing next to my sibling stood still as she had no idea what the word meant. She later asked her mom if my sibling was sick because she didn’t want to catch what he had. It’s so hard to hear how children have to learn about these degrading words and in this case by someone you love.

The End...for now

As we are in our final week of Communicating and Collaborating in the Early Childhood Field I would like to take a minute and just thank all my peers who are on this journey with me. This has been one of the most enlightening courses in my program thus far. I wish you all nothing but the best as we continue on this journey to completing our degree.

Team Building and Collaboration

This week we are talking all about team building. This is so appropriate to where I am in my life right now and serves as great advisement on what I need and should be doing with the various groups I am working with.

The group I always think about is my child care center staff I served as director to. It took me well over a year to build up a staff of 26 women. We went through many trials and in the end that only made us stronger. When reflecting on all the stages of team development the adjourning is always the hardest for me. I reflect on what has happened, what obstacles were overcome and the fun times that were had. This situation was extremely hard to leave. In another group where I served as team mom for my daughters soccer team and the other parents on the team were required to assist me and failed, I was extremely happy to be done and adjournment was not an issue but more of a relief. In the case with my child care center position we had a huge party where we all cried about me leaving and talked about the good times. In the case with the soccer team parents were so uninvolved that many didn't shop up to the party at McDonald's that I planned for the players.

I think I've made many connections in my program here at Walden University but I'm not sure those connections are strong enough that I would be extremely emotional over adjourning. I imagine its because I transferred in and didn't start with majority of the students I attend class with.

I agree adjourning is important for any team relationship. It provides a sense of closure which is important in any relationship.

Nonviolent Communication

This week we needed to think about any disagreements, or conflicts, you have recently experienced or are currently experiencing at work with a supervisor or colleague, or someone in your personal life. Share at least two strategies you have learned about that might help you manage or resolve the conflict more productively, and why these strategies might be effective.

For example, could you suggest a compromise? Could you look for a broader range of solutions to your disagreement? Could you use some of the principles of nonviolent communication or the 3 R's to better help you resolve this conflict.

As a PTA board member for my daughters school I am always approached by teachers and parents who offer suggestions or their opinions. I was approached recently by a teacher who demanded that her class be in charge of the concession stand for the fall festival happening in the coming weeks. At the time of the disagreement I went back and forth with her on why it wouldn't be fair for her class to take the entire stand over and other issues which she was aware of. Thinking back on what happen and what we've been studying regarding non-violent communication I can think of many ways I could have resolved the issue before it began.

My Strategies

1. I could have listened more rather than trying to determine an immediate resolution and arguing back and forth about the problem. Perhaps if I would have actually stepped back and tried to internalize the problem and frustration the teacher was feeling I would have had a better end result.

2. I could have provided a compromise rather than just saying no. I could have asked the teacher to list out her plans and explain that I would meet with the board regarding the matter. I think pulling from the 3 r's of respect, reciprocate and resolve I could have done better at reciprocating the information the teacher was trying to give in addition to being better at resolving the issue.

Who Am I As A Communicator?

For the blog this week, we were asked to think about the similarities and differences between how we evaluated ourselves as a communicator and how others evaluated us.

My evaluation of myself reflects exactly how I see myself. My listening style is reflective of being a people-oriented person who listens and cares. My verbal aggressiveness score reflected that of being a good balance between both viewpoints and my communication score was also listed in the moderate area. I see myself pretty neutral all the time. I am the one who stays in the midpoint during discussions and arguments. I have always thought of myself as more of a peacemaker. However, these quizzes show and reflect exactly who I am.

For this assignment, my husband and my assistant of 3 years evaluated me. Both my husband and assistant evaluated my listening style as people-oriented. They weren’t surprised from that score and neither was I. My assistant scored my communication anxiety also as moderate as I did myself, however I was surprised to see that my husbands answers placed me in the elevated area. I usually don’t find myself unsure in many communication situations so I’m unsure as to why this score was reflected. The verbal aggressiveness score was in the moderate box from all of us. I was happy to see that I am reflected as having a good balance between respect and consideration.

Through this weeks assignment I gained great insight and perception. I’ve learned a lot about how I perceive others and how my assumptions about others affect many of the relationships I have with others. I have realized that I do a lot of assuming prior to actually knowing a person – it may not be a stereotype but it is still an assumption, which isn’t something I should do. I’ve also learned how others reflect me. Although my husband and I live together his score of me didn’t reflect my exact score, however my assistant who has been working with me for 3 years could verbal give examples of each score and how it pertains to me.

Cultural Diversity and Communication

This week we have discussed communication and diversity. Included in this is how we as early childhood professionals communicate with others. This week we are to reflect on the ways we communicate with others.

As I reflected on my communication and reading of course materials I realized that I do communicate differently with people from different groups. I don't communicate with my mom the same way I do with my daughter. I also don't communicate with my preschool parents as I do my husband. With people who are closer to me such as my daughters and husband my communication is more relaxed whereas communication with my peers is more professional.

Three strategies that I believe I could use to help me communicate more effectively are:

1. I need to make sure I am more open-minded and open to others opinions

2. I need to make sure to treat others how I want to be treated. This includes when communicating think about how I am making others feel.

3. I need to work on not making assumptions or stereotypes

Communication Skills: Language, Nonverbal, Listening

This week we have discussed communication skills and its various styles. For this assignment we were told to record an episode of a television show you do not normally watch. Watch the show with the sound turned off and then on.

I chose the show Seinfeld. I've heard how funny it was and decided to watch an episode. I first watched with the sound off.

Based upon how the characters are communicating it seems they're gestures are portrayed it looks like they are all trying to get things out of each other. It seems they are trying to get each other to do things the other does not want to do. No one is laughing or smiling much so I'm not sure what type of comedy this is.

Much of the show it seems they are expressing confusion toward one another. It seems during conversation one persons face always shows signs of confusion while the other of explanation. The characters use great communication skills to emphasis their points. There are lots of hand gestures, head movements and various facial expressions.

Here is what I determined after watching with the show with the sound on...

I assumed that the plot was based on money or at least something more serious than the actual problem. In this episode the main female character was arguing with her boyfriend over his name, and the main character Seinfeld wanted his girlfriend to provide him with a massage. Now that the sound is on I can see the comedy in the show however you rarely see any of the characters laugh or smile.

I believe if I had been watching a show I was more familiar with I would have been able to guess just about everything that happened because I would be more familiar with the characters and how they communicate. I would have been able to watch their gestures, hand movements and facial expressions.